this frustration makes me glassy eyed.
there is anger in these parts of mine.

Everything was so green today. Heavy clouds created heavy light scattered over the leaves and the long grass. I flip through the stations on my radio, deciding eventually on slow folk with a banjo and a drawl. These are happy times, but this radio and I are feeling low.

The future comes on strong. I am so comfortable in this bed that is not mine, in the arms of a man I'm not sure I know. I dream of marriage and childbirth and I wake up wide eyed and out of breath. I am starting to pay attention to commercials for kitchen appliances and eye creams. I am looking for the perfect white dress.

Sometimes I think about leaving. About cities with tall buildings and streets I do not know. I think about this town and how I will still be here in ten years, with a family and a mortgage, a fenced-in back yard for the dog. I am caught up between the two, in the space where I am convinced that happiness is not where you are, but who you're with. In the city with tall buildings, I'm all alone.

I worry about the good, because I've eliminated the bad. And oh, there's just so much good.